If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
