That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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