Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
