only if we run a train.
done.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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