I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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