that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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