Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
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Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
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He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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