is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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