Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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