The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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