so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
