Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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