She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
