i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize