if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
