You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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