Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
