Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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