I wish I could teleport
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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