i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize