she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
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If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize