im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
