my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!