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Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
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