Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..