i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"