I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize