I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This baby is an asshole
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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