And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
