Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
