we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
