Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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