I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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