I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
