Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize