She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We're too hungover to prance.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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