She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize
