can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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