You smell like a Billy Joel song
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
