So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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