jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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