I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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