I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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