can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
