yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
