I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do you still have your period?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
