I wish I could punch you in the face.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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