I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
