New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
