The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
