You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
