Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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