He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize