you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
