shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
