she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
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I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
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Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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