dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Alive.
So much puke
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
pray to the hookup gods
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
