4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
