I think i peed on brittanys purse
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize