K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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