You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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