in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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