i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
