You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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