I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
