the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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