I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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