Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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