Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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