I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
