whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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