i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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